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I don't know what was worse

The fall for you

Or the fall from you

I feel lucky to have survived this curse

Even though I've been living

Like I don't know what to do

Time and time again

I felt myself holding onto you

Now I found myself hating...

Every moment you put me through



/*INCOMPLETE*/

COMMENTS

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TamaKit123
22:09 Jan 20 2009

ouch....

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beautifulmistake
12:22 Jan 21 2009

beautiful and sad......nice! BM

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You curse me now, as I lie in the dirt

Stripping away

Ripping away, like a hurricane

I won't deny it, you know that this hurts

I wish I would've gotten away

Escaped, before this storm came



You're hurting me

Might as well be burning me...

Alive

And my only hope now

Is that I can last out

Until this storm subsides



You curse me now, as I lie in the dirt

Stripping away

Ripping away, like a hurricane

I won't deny it, you know that this hurts

I wish I would've gotten away

Escaped, before this storm came



I try to run

But you've got me cornered at every turn

There's no place to hide

No place under the sun

It turns to night as my soul starts to burn

And back to day, just in time...

To find out I died

COMMENTS

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MidnightSong
20:06 Jan 18 2009

This is so sad

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Isis101
01:45 Jan 19 2009

Damn...another good one!

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TamaKit123
22:09 Jan 20 2009

although there is a lack of rhythm, this one doesn't need the order. Seems hectic. Frantic, scared, upset...disorganized emotions...

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Subliminally charged

I write with a spark

A spur of inspiration

Marked at the beginning of the task at hand

One simple sentence, even a word

Can draw out some of the most amazing things

Anyone on this earth has ever heard

I write from my heart, not with my head

Censorship, practicality, mainstream my work?

I'd rather be dead

So if you wanna look away

It'd be best to turn your head...

If you're interested in learning a bit about my soul

Then venture forth, for there is so much to be read

When you look at the sky

Does it hurt your eyes?

Do you feel your lies

Creeping up from inside?



I hope you never have the chance to

Ruin another life

After you've already been handy enough

To completely ruin mine

I feel a need to forewarn this world

If you'd like your sanity intact

Stay away from this girl



When you look at the ground

Do you hear a sound?

Does it make your mind

Grind and pound?



I hope you know thats where you're headed

Deep down below

Where the valley of the dead is

When you look up

It hurts, thats not where you belong

When you look down

You know, Hell will be your swan song



I hope you never have the chance to

Ruin another life

After you've already been handy enough

To completely ruin mine

I feel a need to forewarn this world

If you'd like your sanity intact

Stay away from this girl



So where will you go from here, my dear?

I think you know truth

I know your fury all too well

Which is reason enough for me to say...

Sweetheart...haha...

You're headed straight for hell

COMMENTS

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TamaKit123
14:35 Jan 18 2009

I actually like this poem^^



however, you don't keep a line pattern with your stanzas, let's point that out. they vary a bit much.



The syllables in each line is a bit long, drawing it out, or maybe that's the way you wanted it? to bring suspense?



Rhyme ain't too bad and the last stanza almost made me shiver lol



very lovely overall in meaning and voice

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erin88
04:46 Jan 19 2009

Lol ah... No offence, but who gives a fuck?

Step-hen does good work. His LYRICS are from the heart and that's all that really matters :)

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Walk in a straight line

Until you find me

I'm ready and willing

To leave my past behind me

So if you're able

Just take my hand

And help set me free



I've looked so hard and long

For a place I can belong

And laying in your arms

Sounds so very inviting

So if you find me now

I will finally be happy

Fate will play its role

I know you're my only one, so...



Walk in a straight line

Until you find me

I'm ready and willing

To leave my past behind me

So if you're able

Just take my hand

And help set me free



You've finally found me now

I'm finally with you now

I'm gonna hold you, and never let go

I'm not so hateful now

I feel so grateful now

And nothing will change that

I know you're always close

I'll never take my old life back

We're in love

And its best if the world knows

COMMENTS

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TamaKit123
14:39 Jan 18 2009

it has no consistent rhythm ((sorry if I nag too much about this, people under the taurus sign kinda like rhythm I think^^;;))



However, very lovely, voice and meaning seem very touching and tranquil.

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How long will it take you

To realize the lies you've been living?

How long will you wait

To take the task you've been given?

Survive tonight

And find your reason for living



It follows you, out your front door

It urges you on

When you can't handle anymore

Its there for you

Something you've never felt before

You're in love

And its turning you around



How long will it take you

To realize the lies you've been living?

How long will you wait

To take the task you've been given?

Survive tonight

And find your reason for living



Its saving you

Giving you the chance to feel more

Its amazing you

With it undeniable force

Something you've never felt before

You're in love

And its turning you around



Give in to it

Let it surround you

Its ok to feel like

There is no one else around you

As long as I'm here by your side

For the rest of your life

You're in love and its turning you around

COMMENTS

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MidnightSong
06:42 Jan 13 2009

This needs to be a sng for sure, this is amazing!!

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Isis101
23:14 Jan 13 2009

I agree...set this to music now!

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Feeling lost

Abandoned

Discarded by the ones you love

Life just keeps going, and going

Always in circles

And there is no one else around



You're not strapped in

But you don't want to get off

You chose this ride

To make the pain and hurting stop

For yourself, and those around you

You chose the One-Horse Carousel

The one with no end

The One-Horse Carousel



Feeling lost

Abandoned

Discarded by the ones you love

Life just keeps going, and going

Always in circles

And there is no one else around



You've given yourself up

For those around you

You made sure

That no one found you

Eternally you shall stay

On your One-Horse Carousel

'Round and 'round

All alone

On your One-Horse Carousel

COMMENTS

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MidnightSong
06:28 Jan 13 2009

This has a gret meaning behind it, you are great. Cut yourself some slack.

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Isis101
23:15 Jan 13 2009

This is nice...

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MorbidAngels15
14:32 Jan 18 2009

Lovely ^_^

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